Aaaaaaaand again.....

I keep breaking these blogs up because i'm constantly being evicted from various rooms, currently i'm in the library but it's a dodgy rope that i walk and i may get removed from here at any moment as well. We'll see how it goes.

Now then, i hope you're sitting comfortably? Then i'll begin.



Number 3, and the final in my trilogy, is ShadowHearts. This series was massively overlooked at the time it was released for two main reasons. Firstly, it was a huuuge marketing f*ck up on the part of Midway who chose to release it in the UK mere weeks away from Square (at that time) releasing Final Fantasy 10. Obviously the Final Fantasy series is massive and so people simply overlooked Shadow Hearts and sought to wait for their Final Fantasy fix instead to sate their RPG thirst.


The cover art did little to sell Shadow Hearts and the fact that the game itself was pretty damn weird didn't help much either.

The second reason that Shadow Hearts failed to fly off the shelves was that it was just too weird. RPG fans had grown accustomed to typical J-RPG storylines and values and so when this title came along it rightly confused a few players. The main character Yuri is a Harmonixer who can transform into various different beasts or demons that are locked within his psyche and he embarks on a quest to save a girl called Alice who wears not much, is an Exorcist and can use healing magic.
Initially the game begins with Yuri being a selfish wanderer but eventually he finds solace in Alices demure and caring nature and eventually his love for her is what keeps the demons inside him in check.
Granted, it all sounds very prosaic and predictable but Sacnoth, the developers, make sure that just the right amount of elements go into the mix from heart break to off the wall comedy. I was genuinely addicted to Shadow Hearts from the second i started it and i think i empathised and grew attached to the charcters more in this game than any other.


Japanese fan art of Yuri and Alice. Screw you Tidus and Yuna. Screw you.

Aiding Yuri in his quest for salvation is ZhuZhen:a Yin Yang master, Margarette:a spy who uses a mobile phone to call in attacks, Keith:a centuries old vampire who joins you because he's bored and finally Halley:an orphan boy who uses ESP to control things.

The various locations, situations and enemies they come up against are very surreal and almost LoveCraftian at times - alot of the time you are in Yuri's mind, fighting for his sanity and trying to unlock different abilities by coming to terms with his past.

The combat, too, was a departure from normal RPG's as it employed something the developers dubbed the Judgement Ring. While battles are still turn based the amount of damage you do or the success of your combo's is reflected on how skillful you are in hitting the key parts of the Judgement Ring as the pendulum swings around. Oddly, anyone who has played most golf sims will be right at home here.

Rarely does a sequel outshine the original but in the case of Shadow Hearts: Covenant it most certainly did with developers Nautilus at the reigns. Yuri returns again after slightly depressing circumstances at the end of the first game (i won't ruin it) and meets up with Karen. In this version she's the hot one who wears nothing and isn't shy of flashing her pants during a fight.
This game sees an even more bizzare roster assemble to save the world. This time Yuri is joined by a doll maker, a wolf, a pro-wrestling vampire, an extrememly well endowed fortune teller, a Russian photographer and a samurai who can demon-morph.


Lucia from Shadow Hearts Covenant. In the game it's pretty much implied that she has tourettes.

This game brought attention to the world of Shadow Hearts and was met with much more popularity, especially in the US which is good as often Europe swiftly follows suit.
Offering much more character development this time, and coming on 2 discs, Covenant promised a more involving and lengthy experience and delivered in spades. In my opinion this is easily the best of the three Shadow Hearts games.

Finally, unfortunately, is Shadow Hearts: From the New World. I remember this being delayed quite alot and heard speculation that no-one would distribute it in this country which just goes to show the tragic nature of the gaming industry - but that's another post.

I thoroughly enjoyed playing this version of the game but found that without Yuri anymore it was lacking something as he was such a great main character. The story was captivating enough but not quite as dark as the previous two and it was that aspect which pulled me in the most. Overall, the weaker of the 3 titles, it kind of felt a little forced and was instantly relegated to the budget domain although this all may have something to do with the dwindling interest in the PS2 at the time as the next gens had just started hitting the shelves.



In short, if you want quality, DIFFERENT (not FF) and emotive RPG's look no further than Shadow Hearts. They're a criminally ignored and under-rated series that many would love if they simply gave them a chance. Awesome.

A continuation of the blog below...

I had to break up the blog because it was starting to become an overwhelming amount of information. That and the fact that where i was writing it was suddenly invaded by F.E students who started throwing food around and trying to copulate with each other on the tables so i had to leave before i became embroiled in the debauchary.

Anyway, on to number two!

2) Castlevania: I first played the Castlevania series on the NES although it didn't really win me over. Not because it was rubbish or because the game design was poor, more just because i found it difficult to be impressed with a side scrolling adventure game, no matter how many vampires were in it or how good it was.


The cover of the original. What you see is pretty much what you get. A bloke with a whip. And a vampire in a castle.

It wasn't until the release of Symphony of the Night on the PS1 that my love of Castlevania grew. Everything about that game was genius, so much so that it later became available as an unlockable on Dracula X on the PSP and is still available for download today on the Xbox Marketplace and the PS3 PSN, i downloaded it when it first became available and it's as enjoyable now as it was when it was first released. As the games main character, Alucard is an excellent protagonist although somewhat dubiously voice acted. The anime designs are excellent as well and only serve to impress on the player the amount of work that has gone into the game.


An anime montage of the Symphony of the Night cast. This picture excludes Death and the Succubus which is a shame. Simply that.

What attracted me to SOTN was the application of an RPG-lite system built into the game which added significantly to the longevity and depth. This game dynamic then continued throughout the more recent releases on the DS which were also excellent games. To the casual gamer they may seem little more than pedestrian adventure titles lasting a mere 10 hours at best but if you are a completist, like me and my brother, then you can spend hours plumbing the hidden depths of these games. Most have myriad hidden areas and items to find, often rare ones which take ages, and some even end the game prematurely if certain requirements aren't met such as SOTN when you cannot enter the upside-down castle or Order of Ecclesia when you never get to enter Draculas castle.


Order of Ecclesia is the latest Castlevania title to be released and is excellent as always but a little hard for some. Note: I'm not counting Castlevania Judgement on the Wii because it's pretty dire.

One thing that still grates to this day is that when i bought my PS2 i stupidly traded in my mint collectors edition of SOTN, with orchestral score and manga comic, for a mere £15 and now it's incredibly hard to find and worth a mint. My own stupid fault but still very annoying. Curse you Game.

Ultimately, if you're after immersive adventure games with a very rich and detailed story look no further than the Castlevania games. I personally recommend SOTN on the 360 or PS3, Aria of Sorrow on the GBA and Curse of Darkness on the PS2. The latter was an amazing game - it was more like a cross between Castlevania and Devil May Cry but it worked very well and the demons that you could summon and upgrade were a very clever addition to the genre.

For an interesting and informative history of Castlevania click on the video below, again compliments of YouTube:

A blog on my favourite game series'....sssss.

I was contemplating last night what my favourite game franchise is and i came up with a few. The problem with a lot of gaming series' is that they become lost over time, diluted and often clutching at straws - sometimes games companies will release a steaming pile of a game under the guise that it's part of say, the Resident Evil series, and so people flock to buy it.

That said, i believe for the most part that Capcom have always delivered with the Resi series...with the possible exception of Resi 3 "Nemesis" and Survivor. Nemesis because it's just a preference (or lack of) and Survivor because...well, it sucked. Sorry. But it did. Although it must've been popular because it spawned a sequel and i heard on the grapevine that they're releasing another one on the Wii.


A screenshot from Survivor. Kind of a poor mans House of the Dead, it was lapped up by lightgun fans but not so much Resi fans.

So yeah, for the most part i enjoy the Resi series but as always there are a few duffers *cough* Resi 5. But apart from that there are a few other games that when they come out i'm queuing outside Game with a 2 man tent and a thermos of coffee.

1) Phantasy Star: Ever since playing Phantasy Star III on my MegaDrive i've been addicted to this series. The second the PSIII title screen appeared and i heard the haunting music (which is in my head right now) i knew this game was going to keep my attention. Of all the games i've played this one probably invokes my most vivid memories of gaming - the first time i wandered into the woods outside the first town and met a lonely (hot) female cyborg named Mieu i instantly became hooked on the potential that PSIII offered me. I think of my favourite two characters in RPG's Mieu and Wren (the two cyborgs) are up there with the best of them - i mean, Wren could transform into two different vehicles and fit the entire team inside for christs sake!!


Mieu was something of a precursor to Lara Croft, probably the first hot female game character, she was more in proportion and had pink hair.

I thoroughly enjoyed PSIV as well although i found it to be a little on the short side but nothing could have prepared me for the enjoyment of Phantasy Star Online on the Dreamcast. What a game!!
Even though it was essentially a dungeon crawler the emphasis (and the hook) was definately on levelling up your character. I spent HOURS trawling dungeons looking for S-class weapons and equipment to make my character look the business and then i took him (a FORCE character) online which at that point was pure witchcraft.
This was back in the day when headsets weren't available so all the interaction was done using a pop-up QWERTY keyboard which you had to hastily type with before an enemy hit you. Good times.


The cover art to Phantasy Star on the Dreamcast. This is the US art but i remember the UK version being similar. Note the character in the jaunty hat in the background? That was me.


A screenshot from the game - the sense of comraderie was unparalleled as the Hunters steamed in with swords and the Rangers picked off stragglers with sniper rifles. This game was sweet.

Having recently just purchased Phantasy Star portable on the PSP i'm equally excited to start it but i have to wait until i've finished playing FF:Crisis Core. The fact that they made it Ad-Hoc only mode is a controverisal one but i can't imagine playing it with anyone but friends anyway so it's not the end of the world.

Also Phantasy Star Zero is due for DS release soon which i'll be all over - for anyone interested the new trailer is below, courtesy of YouTube:

Sony PSP - a dying giant of potential

On the lead up to buying my PSP i had major reservations, not only did it seem like a floundering platform to me but i just couldn't see myself using one the same as i did my girlfriends DS for example. I would always worry when i walked into a game shop and looked for any PSP games of potential interest only to find them relegated to a dark and dingy corner - a sad chart composed of the last 6 months scant releases and nothing more. Eventually, however, i broke and i'm pleased to say that although Sony still annoy me immensely i haven't regretted it for a second.


The PSP3000, one of the many different versions that have been released and named in the style of Terminator.

I've counted 15 games to date that i'd love to play on the PSP and most of which i now own. That, for me, is enough to justify the purchase of a machine and then some. Yes there are still problems with the machine itself, many in fact, but these can be overlooked in light of the machines capabilities - no matter how neglected.
Granted the battery life is very low, especially for what is supposed to be a hand held machine but i think that for anyone considering buying one they should bare in mind that it isn't really a portable gaming platform. Yes it's handheld but it could be argued as to whether it's genuinely portable due to its feeble battery life and overly bulky size.

Also of major annoyance is the fact that Sony have now announced (or will at E3) that they're releasing another revamped PSP model. This one will be dubbed the PSP2, instead of a PSP 4000 which is taking it beyond the realm of ridiculousness. The PSP2 (catchy) is speculated to be doing away with the costly UMD drive which is a sound business move (as most companies have dropped it anyway) but something of a kick in the teeth for people like myself who have imported rare games from abroad. The press are hoping that Sony will try and stay on the fans good side by releasing a UMD to flash memory add on although Sony have never really worried before about annoying people so i wouldn't hold your breath. An excellent example of alienating your audience is when they removed the Emotion Engine from the PS3, removing the backward compatability function while still, geniusly, leaving all the functions on the dashboard of the PS3 batch that couldn't play PS2 and PS1 games. Bravo.

Anyway, like a mug i'll no doubt be purchasing the PSP2 especially considering the new functions that they've promised - despite the worrying fact that everything lately seems to be turning into an IPhone without even meaning to. For anyone as gullible as me who has yet to own a PSP these are the games, in no particular order, that you should buy with it - for the most part they blow anything on the DS out of the water, although i'm still a massive fan of the DS as a format for playing RPG's on.

1) Jeanne D'Arc

Amazing game. I was blown away by the anime intro, worth the purchase of the PSP alone.

2) Brave Story
3) Valkyrie Profile
4) FF:Crisis Core
5) Yggdra Union

Another quality title although you won't see it on these shores. No sir. Thanks again Sony.

6) Phantasy Star Portable
7) Wild Arms EX

There are many others but those will be enough to get you started. The biggest bone that i have to pick with Sony is their pathetic support for the European market. Yes the PSP is universal (thank god) but for the most past the US and Japan enjoy huge amounts of software over there that we will simply never see over here. This major annoyance started with the PS2 for me and has now grown increasingly worse with the lacklustre PSP software support in Europe.
The moral of this story is that if you want decent releases pay a little more and go and visit EBay, all of the above titles will be there and they're amazing examples of RPG's. While you're at it go to the link below to find out how to access the US PSN and download a wealth of decent games and films that we miss out on because we're geographically unfortunate:

http://www.computerandvideogames.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=33700

Why Sony, unlike Apple, can't embrace the fact that people want to use different apps and have access to content that is not usually available is beyond me.

Long time no see.....

Agh it's been days since i blogged - a partial mixture of blame lays with having to attend court, having to work to eat and living in a backward house that doesn't provide internet access. In the good old days it was the done thing that we robbed broadband off the the Aquarium below us but someone with a vague knowledge of computers started working there and they've since locked us out of their connection. I had a few stabs at the WEP key but guessing a massive multi digit number is something that they can only do on Hollywood blockbusters.

Regardless of the reasons for my absence i'm now back and with an added gusto. Due to the fact that i haven't been at home for long periods i've been playing alot of handhelds which leads nicely on to this blog and the next.

Suikoden Tierkreis:DS

Imagine how chuffed i was when i discovered that Konami (that bastion of random gaming) had decided in their infinite wisdom to release a new Suikoden game for the DS? Go on, imagine it. You can't can you. Needless to say i was almost as excited when i discovered that with a bit of tinkering i could furnish myself with a copy of Suikoden 1+2 from the US PSN. Essentially i was over the moon because the Suikoden series is one of my favourite of my gaming life.

So what's it about i hear you cry from your gaping mouths. If you hold on then i'll tell you.
Suikoden games have always worked around the premise of war - usually the games protaganist is a young boy who gets inadvertently embroilled in a conflict that is out of his hands. Along the way he enlists a rag tag band of warriors to help him, usually they span different races and factions but ultimately they overlook their differences and unite in the face of a common adversary.
Sound dull and generic? I suppose it could be percieved that way but to fans (such as myself) it's quite the opposite.


The original cover art for Suikoden - they obviously couldn't cram 108 characters into such a small space but i think they could've tried a little harder.

Always revolving around the same basic story, the character (that's you) travels the world recruiting members to your growing army and gradually building an impressive HQ in which to hatch plans for battles and to cook things and other random skills that all your recruits possess as well as being able to fight. The real pull to this game is a Pokemon-esque urge to collect 'em all - with 108 "stars of destiny" (thats characters to you and I) it's often up to you to win battles, look in obscure places and meet certain criteria before certain characters will join you.
Once they do, however, they bolster your ranks and make battles all that much more easier - battles are turn based, obviously, as the majority of older RPG's always were.


A typically tense battle against some mosquitos - animals are far more dangerous in RPG's than they are in real life. Often you get attacked by raccoons, squirrels, fish - you name it.

Missing from this version (again because of the handheld limitations) is the seperate battles that your army could engage in. Playing out like a sortie of sorts (ha), the previous versions of the game allowed you to take your characters onto a battlefield and actually fight pitched battles againt your foe using magic users, archers and infantry in a vague nod to rock, paper, scissors. I, for one, used to really enjoy these parts and feel that the game has suffered slightly with their omission.

Suikoden Tierkries was obviously scaled down slightly due to the development restrictions and as a result is still an incredible game but probably my least favourite in the series. Konami have done away with the 2D look of the originals and made the game 3D which, while obviously a natural progression, doesn't work as well as i'd like it to. Often it reminded me of a slightly grainier Final Fantasy 7 - no bad thing and necessary because of the handheld format but i'm firmly entrenched in the old school camp and would rather they made a flashier 2D version.


The new version - your friend Jale is the one in the beret, lucky he's hard as nails as well.

To be fair to Konami i can hardly complain about any new addition of Suikoden that they choose to bring out - yeah ok the graphics aren't exactly my cup of tea and they've removed a few of the better nuances of the originals but considering that they had a few cut backs to make it could've been so much worse. As it stands they've given us another solid addition to the franchise which fans will warm to after a few slight adjustments. In this case the few cons are far outweighed by the many pros and all come together to make a charming story and an innovative cast of characters.
Note to anyone playing this: If you want to collect all 108 stars you will need a guide, i find it impossible to believe that anyone could find them all without one as many characters only join under the most specific of circumstances!!

My verdict: 8.5/10

Does your girlfriend play games? (computer ones)

I've always considered myself quite lucky that my girlfriend plays videogames and has an exceptionally high tolerance for me playing them constantly as well. If you are one of those unlucky blokes that is constantly being asked to turn off your consoles then this link may help although it's absolutely hilarious in its approach to coercing your girlfriend into enjoying your hobby:

http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Your-Girlfriend-to-Play-Video-Games

Initially i thought it would be lame but after reading it i see that it's actually quite on the ball in terms of womens thought processes while albeit being extremely patronising at the same time.
A case in point is that it claims that girls would get no enjoyment in playing a game like Soul Calibur, for instance. I scoffed at this as my girlfriend probably played Soul Calibur 4 more than i did but then i noticed the psychology that they employed behind it. They state that to encourage your Mrs to play it you should first show them the character design page and let them design their own character that they can empathise with. Oddly, without even knowing it, this is exactly what i did.
It also mentions purchasing her a DS and a copy of, amongst others, Trauma Center, which i also did!!
I began to get quite scared, maybe i was inadvertently tricking my g/friend into playing games. The relief came when i realised that the article plumbed depths that i would never consider in a million years spanning from romance to hand relaxation techniques.


This is Emma Frain, a typical woman. See how she has trouble keeping her clothes on? How is she expected to play games if she can't even stay clothed? With massages and a carefully constructed reward system, that's how. Notice the tiny hands.

Where this article falls down, quite humourously, is the way it describes your girlfriend in essentially the same way you would a dog. If someone told me that it was written by Cesar Millan of Dog Whisperer fame then i wouldn't argue with them. Turns out it's actually a girl who wrote it although i'm not sure what planet she's on.
According to the author, girls find it cute when i struggle to contain my rage at a game but feel a little put off when i hurl my pad across the room. There's nothing they enjoy more than watching me in a frenzy, spitting everywhere as i brand the TV and its contents every name under the sun. Girls sit there doe-eyed and brimming with love while i implore the heavens as to why the game is so unfair like a petulant child. Granted, alot of this is reassuring.


*ATTENTION LADIES!! CLICKING ON THE LOWER PLAY BUTTON WILL FILL YOU WITH A SOFT, WARM GLOW!!*


Luckily my girlfriend enjoys the odd videogame session but in a healthy, non-aggressive way - if you are not so fortunate however then the link above can teach you tricks to fool your better half into believing that she likes gaming.
From casually browsing the games section in a shop and idley pointing out titles she may like - coaxing her to eventually buy something, to teaching her hand stretching exercises so her delicate hands don't cramp up, right down to not physically forcing her to play for 8hrs at a time - this article has everything. Some of it is odd as i can't imagine forcing anyone to play a game for any length of time, i guess where the author of the article comes from blokes sit there with canes, wrapping the knuckles of their g/friends when they dare to release their grip on the sweat soaked pad.

Another approach that she suggests, and for the romantics among you, there's even a method of teaching her the controls to a game that isn't dis-similar to the pottery wheel scene in Ghost. It's total genius. Get over there now and learn how you can trick your dog...sorry, girlfriend into loving games without them even realising what you're doing to them.

Films and games - never the twain shall meet.

In wake of the DVD release of the much reviled Max Payne film i'm looking at whether any film makes a great game or vice versa. I've been racking my tired brains to think of one but all that comes to mind are shambling monstrosities, games that should've been gathered up during some kind of ceremony and cast onto a huge pyre while people stand around and chant.
Transformers, X-Men, SpiderMan, Lord of the Rings, any number of kids films - all the games that i can think of that have originated from films have been absolutely dire offerings although they did sell quite well.


For £39.99 you could also buy two sets of cardboard boxes, some paint and tinfoil and you and a mate could dress up as Transformers. The end result would be more fun than the game but then so would stabbing yourself in the face.

I remember talking about this with my brother when i worked in Game a few years ago and we applied an almost psychological approach as to why the gaming community would want to purchase a title that had not only been torn apart by the press but that would almost definately be total and utter dross.
The reason, my friends, is two fold. Firstly i'm guessing that the majority of games released from the back of a film are purchased by children - Bee Movie, Jumper, Transformers, Star Wars, Hulk, Iron Man - all these films appeal to kids and are easy purchases for parents. The completely lost mum or grandparent wanders blindly into Game looking for a game to buy little Johnny for Christmas, panicks due to the sensory overload, sees a game they recognize from the TV, grabs it and buys it.
Having had first hand experience in a gaming shop for way too many years i know this to be alot of the reason why consistently poor movie ports are still being bought up like hot cakes today.

The second reason is that people want to feel like they're in the film that they've just watched, especially superhero films. They've just left the cinema and wander around lost, full of the adrenaline that they felt when they were watching the movie. What's easier than going home, crafting your own suit of futuristic armour and hitting the streets to solve crimes? Deliberately subjecting a spider to radiation and then coaxing it to bite you before donning a suit and swinging around abit? Befriending gigantic robots that can transform into various vehicles and then save the world from some evil tanks and helicopters?
The answer is to go and spend £39.99 on a piece of crap that promises to make you feel like you're in the film. The reality, however, is that the games companys know that you lust for this adoption of something you're not and play off it. They know that they can release any sub standard tat and that people will buy it.

I remember the last time i fell into their trap and i'm pleased to say it doesn't happen all that often. I stupidly purchased Iron Man on the 360 having convinced myself that although i've yet to see Iron Man this game would make me Tony Stark. I could be jetting around, firing my wrist rockets with wanton abandon and customising my armoured suit at a whim with any new technology that i pleased. No longer would i be Mark, confined to my tiny bedroom and earning a measley income in a mind numbing job!!
This was going to be good.


This is a rare occurence and a pointless effort on the part of Iron Man. Shortly after destroying this missile he'll only be hit with another.

The illusion was shattered simply by inserting the disc into the 360 and realising, all too late, that i'd been a fool. This wasn't going to change my life except possibly for the worst. By the second level i realised that not only was this the same generic rubbish that i'd seen in the past but that it was actually a totally insane game. For ages i thought i was doing something wrong as i was plucked out of the air every 3 seconds by a missile which were incredibly hard to avoid due to the fact that at one point there were about 40 of them buzzing around me. I went onto the internet and discovered that other people had also had the same problem and that that was the way the game was designed.
You, as Iron Man, fly around a circular landscape bashing into invisible boundaries as you attempt, in vain, to escape from a mass of explosives that keep coming regardless of your efforts. I realise now that it was naive of me to upgrade my suit with chaff countermeasures thinking that maybe that would solve the problem. In reality the chaff distracted one of the missiles which is akin to being attacked by a pack of rabid dogs and throwing a single sausage at them.

I was also mildly tempted to buy Wanted last weekend because i thought the film was pretty cool but my mate in Game assured me that it's possible to complete it in 3hrs so i gave that one a miss. A shame as once again the potential was there to make a great game based on a great film.

I'm racking my brains now trying to think of a decent movie that was made from a game. Actually Silent Hill was pretty good although that was a game that became a movie that became a game so that covers all bases. What else is there?

BloodRayne - shocking
Max Payne - awful
Street Fighter - absolutely laughably bad
Mario Brothers - dire: Bob Hoskins and Dennis Hopper?!
Tomb Raider - passable???
Doom - nooooooooo!!!!!!


Whoever thought this was a good idea needs to be punished. For a start putting Hoskins and Hopper in the same film was an accident waiting to happen.


The only two reasons to watch BloodRayne.

No doubt they'll soon be releasing a film based on Grand Theft Auto and i'm sure ive heard that Halo the movie is in the pipline. Type in Street Fighter into Google right now and all you'll see is the new film that they're making starring Kristen Kreuk as Chun Li, now i'm not a betting man but i think i can predict whether it will be an oscar winner or not. If nothing else i think we've learnt over the past few paragraphs that games and films DO NOT and should not mix - it simply doesn't work!!!

Anyone think of any decent ports between the two formats then let me know!!

Should Rise Of The Argonauts feel the wrath of the Gods?

A fortnight ago i reluctantly gave in and purchased Rise of the Argonauts with gritted teeth and some sweat on my brow. I'd been really excited about the prospect of it when i read the press release and everything about it appealed to me. The first stumbling block was when it was put back about a month after Codemasters no doubt realised that it really wasn't up to scratch, i admit to being a little disappointed at the time but i've always been a firm believer that a game shouldn't be rushed to make a release date if what's finally released is a turgid mess.

That's not to say that ROTA is dire, it's actually quite an enjoyable game and can be pretty immersive after you've been playing it for a while. The characters are well designed, the world you explore is what you'd imagine from a mythological fable and the story is captivating after you begin to give it a chance. So, then, why has the game recieved such harsh criticism from the gaming press?


The cast of characters is varied - ommitted from this picture is a tattooed witch who i stuck in the bottom of my ship, away from prying eyes.

Lets go straight for the jugular - there are many reasons you could choose to hate this game straight from the get-go. Having heard the various problems with the game i'd already decided to judge it for myself as in the past i've enjoyed titles that have received a thrashing from the press but that i bought regardless. In this case alot of the criticism was unfortunately justified. It's not that ROTA is a bad game - it's clear that alot of attention has been given to the development of it - it's just that it doesn't really feel finished.

The first thing that leaps out at you is the juddering frame rate, initially i thought that maybe the game was teething a little and that it would soon calm down but alas no. The next thing that jabs at you like a giant sword in your heroic side is the combat - there's no way to sugar coat it, it's absolutely dire. Jason almost feels as if he's manouvering about in honey, always one step behind, always lagging slightly. While there's an, albeit limited, change of weapons to encourage variety i found the whole process of re-equipping one for another during combat too sluggish and while you're fighting nothing flows properly. Unfortunately, despite being a legendary warrior, Jasons reportoire of moves is limited to either the triangle button for a heavy attack or the square button for a quick attack - fruity combos can be created by mixing up the two but nothing memorable, showy or worthy of note like God of War, for example.


Although this looks like a potentially good battle you can be assured that in a moment Jason will be flailing his sword about and tumbling like a clown.

For me the crux of battle seemed to revolve around hitting shields and lots of it. The process requires that you hit a shield until eventually it breaks and then you can rend the shield bearer in twain having disposed of his protection. Then you rinse and repeat, occassionaly rolling around like a drunken fool to avoid attacks.

At one point i began a conversation with a slave of mine (because i can afford such finery) and although he moved his mouth no words came out, i would answer him as clear as day and then he'd reciprocate by staring at me and just moving his mouth. It's details like this that don't necessarily ruin the game for me but that certainly hammer home the sad fact that it's a wasted opportunity. I read on the offical website that IGN dubbed it "the most eagerly anticipated RPG of 2008" which, looking back now, they must be gutted about.
Firstly it's only an RPG in the most rudimentary sense of the word. Okay you can level up your character with a "skill tree" but its not exactly multi faceted and is quite restrictive in terms of progression. Secondly, considering how the game turned out IGN must have been bitterly disappointed - i just flitted quickly over to IGN and saw that they gave it a 6.2 which is suprising considering their reputation of being overly critical.
If you want to read another opinion click on the link below:
http://uk.ps3.ign.com/articles/939/939332p1.html

If you can look beyond its many technical and sloppy faults there is a mildly enjoyable game underneath - the only problem is that most people will give up on ROTA long before it even begins to tell its epic tale.

My verdict: 6/10

No-one said it would be easy.....

I was wondering what my greatest gaming achievements were when i was close to blowing my brains out in my work earlier and i think i've only come up with 2:

1) Beating Seth in Street Fighter 4. I know what you're thinking - he's just the guy at the end of Street Fighter 4, what's so fantastic about beating him. I say this to you then fool - have you ever fought him? He's ridiculous. An amalgamation of all the characters skills and moves, he basically teleports around the screen laughing maniacally at your ever increasing rage and firing Sonic Booms at you until you jump and then he hits you with a Dragon Punch. The first time i fought him i actually almost perfected him with Vega but alas things went dramatically down-hill from there.


Seth actually had no friends as he was growing up. All the kids in the playground used to call him names on account of him being a cheap asshole.

The real challenge in fighting Seth is in not propelling your pad across the room after he's just used the same move repeatedly to beat you for the 9th time in a row. Street Fighter 4 - good game, messed up final boss.

2) Defeating the Immortal in Lost Odyssey. This took ages and probably wasn't worth the time i invested into it but it's still something i'm proud of to this day. After trading blows with him for ages it was one of those do or die moments that you sometimes get in gaming where i had no health left and he was also on his last legs. My heart was in my throat as i'd pretty much resigned myself to him beating me but kept on regardless and then lo and behold he just died. It was amazing.
Looking back now i don't remember getting anything good for it but i felt a sense of achievement and thought my party to be pretty solid - until i got the DLC, descended all the way to the bottom of the secret lab and got my RPG ass handed to me on a plate by Professor K.
I searched Google for a picture of him but there are none. Actually i found one but it was tiny, i assume the guy just managed to fumble with his camera before Professor K killed him.
If you follow the link below however you'll see that apparently it's possible to defeat him in 3 turns which is a little embarrassing for me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwmIzVBT1ic

Life after the apocalypse.

When i heard that Fallout 3 was due for release it made me more excited than a cleptomaniac in Woolworths (RIP). I'd always been a fan of the originals, in all of their frustratingly buggy glory, but the idea that maybe i could play a Fallout game on a next-gen format that wasn't plagued with dead-ends and disappearing characters filled me with unbridled joy.


The original Fallout games were absolutely amazing but very frustrating. Riddled with bugs, often things would just disappear which kind of added to the challenge of the game.

Imagine my glee then when i discovered that not only was Fallout making a welcome return but that Bethesda were developing it, the company behind one of my favourite series, The Elder Scrolls. I knew that in the hands of these game developing geniuses Fallout would not stray far from the path of greatness and my faith was not unfounded. Why? Read on you impatient swines.

If you're a big fan of Mad Max, as i am, then the world of Fallout will instantly appeal to you. Set in a post-apocalyptic landscape the Fallout franchise is infested with radioactive ghouls, renegade sentry droids and flesh eating super-mutants - it's a tough land to survive in but you soon adapt to the harsh living environment.
Scaveging caps and trading with others is the only way to attain items, at least through lawful means, as any form of currency has long since been obliterated by nuclear fallout. This means that you have to be frugal with your items as not only could that rusty old knife you have be traded for much needed Stimpaks but space in your backpack is scarce as well.


This is pretty much the exact image that i had in mind for my Fallout character. Possibly without the lunacy of Mel Gibson though.

Having played the tutorial, which is ingeniously built into your characters growing up, you take your first tentative steps outside the vault that you were raised in and take in the vast, and somewhat daunting, enormity of the world that awaits you. At this point i became slightly disorientated as i was swamped by the wealth of options that stood before me, my initial thought was to head to the warm safety of the nearest town but the wayward explorer in me dictated that i go and check out the local primary school which was now an empty husk full of looting potential and lovely adventure. That was the beginning of my addiction to Fallout and many hours later i still sat with a smile on my face as i grew more and more climatised to the nooks and crannys that i ferreted around in.

The karmaic idea works well and dictates how the denizens react to you - it may well be possible to steal an expensive item but it will effect your karma, making your character on your quaint Pipboy eventually grow devil horns and a forked tail. Saving up for the item will take considerably longer but at least you can polish your halo every once in a while and the townsfolk will treat you favourably. I opted to be a saint, much like real life.

It's hard to give an accurate portrayal of how Fallout effortlessly immerses you into its world, even minor things like the eerie 1950's music playing on gramaphones in the burnt out houses you jimmy your way into lets you know that this game is something special. That considerable time and effort have gone into it and that no stone was left unturned in terms of attention to detail. The Fallout experience is such a joy sometimes that you'll find a smile creeping across your face before you're even aware of it and even writing this now i feel like i'm cheating you slightly by telling you anything about it, it should really just be a first hand experience.

What definately has to be mentioned is the VAT's system that Fallout employs in combat. Freezing the battle entirely it is possible to target specific body parts of your combatant, centering on an arm or maybe a head if you're feeling lucky (punk). Destroying an arm could cause an enemy to drop their weapon or suffer a critical loss in attack power - destroying a head? Well that looks something like this......and is fairly fatal.


The Raider never saw my sniper bullet coming. It may be presumptuous but i think i've won this one.

Acquiring the most bizzare of perks, tinkering with your weapons using miscellaneous junk, becoming a vigilante, hunting for the elusive bobbleheads - all this and so much more await anyone willing to invest their time into Fallout 3, i found it a pleasure to play from start to finish even when, slightly frustratingly, i'd maxed my character out less than half way through the game. There are a few minor niggles such as the occasional bug or, as i mentioned, the fact that your characters level is capped at 50 which is easily attainable fairly early on in the game. However, none of those things detract from the fact that Fallout 3 is what it is - a gaming masterpiece and a piece of software that the good people of Bethesda have invested alot of time and love into. They can be proud that they've succeeded in creating something very special indeed.

My verdict: 9/10

The Online Debate.

Who actually enjoys playing online anymore? Or who did in the first place even? My jaded experiences online all consist of trash talking teenagers and players who would rather resort to cheap tactics to ensure a victory before issuing you with another mouthful of derogatory slander and then logging off. Presumably to go and do it all over again to somebody else.

Nobody likes to lose. I get that, i really do but the whole attitude of the vast majority of online gamers totally and utterly sucks. To play Halo 3, for example, against an abbhorent little turd who constantly godes you on throughout the match resorting to any methods necessary is just plain torturous. There's little fun about it and yet online gaming is being touted as the future of gaming.

Recently, as a case in point, my brother purchased Street Fighter IV. Being a huge fan of Street Fighter games he took it online and proceeded to win some excellent battles, using everything in his disposal. EX attacks, super combos, throws - he's a completely varied fighter. This being the only game he's ever been online with i was curious to see his feedback and was shocked (more disappointed) to discover that of the 30 or so people that he'd played the majority had given him negative feedback, avoided him and branded him an "unsporting" player. The hypocrisy was not wasted on either of us.


Blanka employing the enormously unfair "Beast Roll". Obviously there'll be heavy repercussions after the match.

In the year that i've not been online with my 360 the only thing i miss is not being able to play a few co-op games and now being able to access the MarketPlace, apart from that online gaming can rot as far as i'm concerned. For me gaming is a release, an enjoyable hobby that helps me unwind after a hard day - if i wanted to recieve an unfair beating and get loads of abuse i'd just go and start a pub brawl, it's cheaper and at least i get the satisfaction of fighting back.

The handheld future (imagine it's a Sunday).

Lately i seem to be playing handhelds alot - obviously by that i mean the Nintendo DS and the PSP, not a GameGear or a Lynx. That would be madness.

I think the main reason for this is that RPG's seem to have found their home on the handhelds and, not being one to worry about graphics, i've actually found that alot of the RPG's released on the smaller format are far more satisfying than anything currently released on the next gen consoles.
The last few RPG offerings on the next-gens have seriously left me wanting with the possible exception of Lost Odyssey but even that fell short of my expectations slightly - certainly titles like The Last Remnant and Infinite Undiscovery have left a bad taste in my mouth after a deliberate effort on my part to possibly see past their short comings and hope that they blossom somewhere in the middle. Unfotunately they did not.

I wait with baited breath for FFXIII because it's going to be a Square Enix release; the aforementioned titles were also by them and weren't of the high standard i would normally expect. Maybe i'm naive and want every game to rise to the heady heights of FFX but there really was little to endear me to the likes of Infinite Undiscovery which played similarly to Star Ocean but with a tacked on Final Fantasy cast and storyline - it just didn't work and ultimately was a bore to play through.


Infinite Undiscovery means well but it's just dull. I think in all the RPG's i've ever played i'v never been so dis-interested in a group of characters. Oh and the voice acting is abysmal, i thought with the latest resurrgance of original Japanese voice overs we'd be spared the squeaky American offerings but alas no.

The instant appeal of the less flashy but infintely (see what i did there) more playable handheld titles like FF: Crisis Core, Chronotrigger, Valkyrie Profile and even (sorry, especially) titles like Golden Sun on the GBA just prove that the appeal of the game is in the dynamic - the instant playability factor, the likeable characters and the effortless and addictive pull to keep playing to see what's around the next corner.


It's hard to type this through the tears that are welling up in my eyes just by thinking about how much i love Golden Sun.

It's a sad day when i get substantially more enjoyment from miniature gaming when next gen consoles have so much potential to deliver an RPG experience that would set the precedent for those to come. This is the spot that FFXIII could potentially fill and if Square Enix screw it up again this time i'm going to punch every one of them in the mouth.

A quick one about game characters

This is only a brief one because i've had a looooooong day in work and i'm going to have a longer one tomorrow. Anyway, i was wondering who everyones favourite characters are in videogames - the more obscure the better although i expect a few Lara Crofts, Samus's and Sonics.

Mine is Keith, the oddly named vampire from Shadow Hearts, Issac from Golden Sun (and Dead Space although they're a bit different), Vincent Valentine from FF7 and Auron from FF10 - oh and Issun from Okami.


Despite Okami being an incredible game, Issun and his relentless search for boobs throughout the adventure made the experience all the more enjoyable.


Vincent Valentine is arguably the best character in FFVII. Unfortunately for him the Dirge of Cerberus was then released with much emphasis on the dirge.

I'm going to go and sleep - and then play Afro Samurai and Rise of the Argonuats for abit - and then sleep some more. Actually i'm not expecting much from the two aforementioned games because they've been slated pretty much everywhere except by Paul Hickin.

I am however quite excited about my purchase last night of: Persona 3 on the PS2, Suikoden Tierkreis on the DS and Jeanne D'Arc and Brave Story on the PSP. I literally can't wait for them to be delivered. They'll make my life better.


If Tierkreis is anything like the others then i may have to bite the bullet and buy my own DS instead of stealing my girlfriends while she's trying to play Trauma Center.

If you could save one game from an inferno which would it be?

I had to ponder this question for a long time and i could only come up with a short list as just deciding on one would be beyond difficult, i may leave a few in the building until they're burnt a little bit and then run back in and save them risking my own life and sustaining third degree burns - it would be a miserable life but i could play the two games i saved to make me feel better during recovery.

Okay so the list would probably be (and this wasn't easy) :

Saved from the inferno - totally unburnt:

1)Okami (PS2) - amazing game and extremely under-rated and ignored on release proving that alot of gamers are actually fools who couldn't recognise a classic if it bit their mangy faces off. Issun swiftly rose to being my hero because of his gung-ho attitude and love of the female anatomy. I could also relate to the wolf as well and his overly aggressive attitude toward pretty much anyone. An absolute gem of a game that's deceptively deep and a treat from start to finish.


Okami has a special place in my heart as a game that was superb but sold pretty much zero units on the PS2 depsite being lauded by most gaming journalists. It's also the only game that i've played where you fight a fox.

2) FFX (PS2) - i've played all of the FF's and only really this one and FF7 stand out as gaming masterpieces for me. The amount of depth involved is mind boggling when you look at the full scale of the ability grid and realise you can fill it for every character. Probably the most emotional game i've played in terms of character interaction and story, Lulu, Auron and Tidus will always be memorable protaganists for me. I think i clocked up around 140hrs on it in the end but that was without doing everything which is a shame because i'm usually a completionist especially when it comes to RPG's.
Who could forget trying to dodge lightning bolts with Lulu? Classic.


Tragically this man believes he is Auron and his life has suffered because of it. Unemployed and now single, he loiters around train stations picking up change.
(It is a sweet effort at Cosplay though, fair play to him.)

3) FF7 (PS1) - the other FF game that blew my mind and probably the longest stint i've ever played on one game. At the time, the scope and longeveity of FF7 was unheard of and i remember travelling 40 miles to get my copy and actually being genuinely excited. Sephiroth is easily the best villain of any game and the killing of Aeris came as a shock to pretty much anyone thats played the game. When i played this game for the first time i actually couldn't believe it, it was probably the most amazing game i'd ever played in my life. Incredible even now, a true game that stands the test of time - i could quite happily play it right now.


Probably the first RPG of true epic scale it also had the most varied cast i've ever seen. From a tattooed big cat, to a stuffed toy with a small cat riding it to a surly black man with a gun for a hand. FFVII was a joy.

4) Shadow Hearts (PS2) - this has got to be up there with my favourite RPG of all time, along with FF7 and Shadow Hearts Covenant (which is arguably better than Shadow Hearts but it's a sequel). It took me ages to unlock all the different devil forms and it's the only game i've ever played which has its tongue so firmly in its cheek that it verges on a Japanese version of a Carry On film. It covers so many different aspects of mythology and magic and the world it created was instantly captivating to me - summoners, exorcists, spies - ShadowHearts pretty much covers it all. I played A New World about a year ago and although it was the weaker of the trilogy it was still a thoroughly enjoyable gaming experience.


Shadowhearts is still one of my favourite RPG's to date. It dealt with one boys struggle to get to grips with his inner demons and also dealt with the more sinister preoccupation of looking up girls skirts. Amazing.

Games that could burn abit but that i would go in to get after i'd saved the above 4:

1) Terranigma (SNES) - Along with the Zelda series and Phantasy Star this game got me into RPG's at quite a young age. If i remember correctly it was released by Enix - obviously before they joined with Square to form Square Enix. I can't remember that much about it but i remember the story was amazing and it used Mode7 really well. I actually still own it in pretty much mint condition and i'v been told that it's worth quite a bit now.


I found this on Google although i'm fairly sure it was in the game. You can guarantee that if it was then i was sat there, agape, staring at the screen in wonderment and unable to fathom what the future of gaming would hold.

2) Halo (XBox) - The best shooter i've ever played along with The Darkness but for different reasons. At the time Halo ruled my life, i played it through many times and then played it through again on co-op mode - even a few years ago the addition of a co-op mode on any game was pretty much unheard of so this was an amazing innovation that we all took advantage of. There has never been a finer weapon in any shooter than the marine pistol and Halo 2 suffered immeasurably with the omission of the pistol.
Even though it wasn't technically an online game we still managed to get it online with a bunch of other global, like minded gamers and proceeded to become embroiled in the addiction of playing Blood Gulch or Hang 'Em High - an online experience that i don't think has ever been recreated for me. For me the series seriously waned with the second one and peaked again only slightly with Halo 3.


A screenshot from the original Halo - the finest of the series. Just looking at the picture now makes me teary-eyed. If i'm not mistaken a plasma grenade has just detonated off screen and the player is shooting someone with an assault rifle. The level looks to be Blood Gulch and in the distance is a Warthog. That's right. A Warthog.

I was straining to think of a game whilst writing this list but couldn't think of it for the life of me. It was an RPG, probably on the PC, and in it you woke up not remembering anything. You were made of a collection of parts and i remember the character being gray - the world was really dark as well, almost cyber-punk in design. I seem to remember at one point in the game the character reaches inside himself and pulls out an important item but i can't remember the bloody name!! I loved it though. I think you had to find the characters body parts???
Anyone have any ideas?

A quick blog on social standing.

This is only going to be quick as i've just had a long day at work and i just want to chill. Or cry. Probably cry.

Anyway, i was in Game today purchasing dubious games on the PS3 (by that i mean dubiously good games, not sexually deviant ones) and i looked around me and found that, bar the staff, i was actually standing in a building filled with social rejects and weirdos.
I counted 4 other customers in the shop beside myself and each looked like they suffered from a serious affliction. One clearly hadn't seen light in weeks, another was a woman who had the appearance and all the mannerisms of a man and the one that was closest to me smelt so pungently of stale sweat and body odour that i almost gagged.
And then there was me. I started to panic, wondering if someone of note could walk past at any second and possibly think i was one with these people, some sick brotherhood of social outcasts out on a day trip to garner more games before scuttling back to our pits to blot out reality!!
I made my purchase and swiftly left, feeling suddenly ashamed - as if what i'd just bought was the hardest core of porn and concealing it, shame faced, beneath my coat like a grubby addict.


This is what i fear the most - i wake some nights, screaming, drenched in sweat and have to run to the mirror to check i'm still who i think i am.
(Incidentally i didn't photoshop the pic, some other whacky japester did that. And to hilarious effect i might add).

My question, albeit rhetorical, is this: is gaming really the social equivalent of blurting out, in the midst of your peers, that you enjoy stamp collecting or model railways? Surely there are enough gamers out there now who actually have a concept of reality to outweigh all the nutters that invariably flock in their droves to the warm embrace of gaming escapism?

I consider myself a gamer but not in the sense that i engage in heated debates over which Final Fantasy character could beat the other, working myself up into a frenzy until i'm foaming at the mouth - i'm also proud to say that i've never fantasized over Lara Croft.

I love games but not so much that i'd neglect to wash or even bother to make friends anymore, opting instead to live in a fantasy world like The Matrix where anything is possible and you're not just a poor, lonely soul but a misunderstood and as yet undiscovered hero.

Obviously now you can all tell me that i'm all of the things above and that i've just convinced that myself i'm not :p