No-one said it would be easy.....

I was wondering what my greatest gaming achievements were when i was close to blowing my brains out in my work earlier and i think i've only come up with 2:

1) Beating Seth in Street Fighter 4. I know what you're thinking - he's just the guy at the end of Street Fighter 4, what's so fantastic about beating him. I say this to you then fool - have you ever fought him? He's ridiculous. An amalgamation of all the characters skills and moves, he basically teleports around the screen laughing maniacally at your ever increasing rage and firing Sonic Booms at you until you jump and then he hits you with a Dragon Punch. The first time i fought him i actually almost perfected him with Vega but alas things went dramatically down-hill from there.


Seth actually had no friends as he was growing up. All the kids in the playground used to call him names on account of him being a cheap asshole.

The real challenge in fighting Seth is in not propelling your pad across the room after he's just used the same move repeatedly to beat you for the 9th time in a row. Street Fighter 4 - good game, messed up final boss.

2) Defeating the Immortal in Lost Odyssey. This took ages and probably wasn't worth the time i invested into it but it's still something i'm proud of to this day. After trading blows with him for ages it was one of those do or die moments that you sometimes get in gaming where i had no health left and he was also on his last legs. My heart was in my throat as i'd pretty much resigned myself to him beating me but kept on regardless and then lo and behold he just died. It was amazing.
Looking back now i don't remember getting anything good for it but i felt a sense of achievement and thought my party to be pretty solid - until i got the DLC, descended all the way to the bottom of the secret lab and got my RPG ass handed to me on a plate by Professor K.
I searched Google for a picture of him but there are none. Actually i found one but it was tiny, i assume the guy just managed to fumble with his camera before Professor K killed him.
If you follow the link below however you'll see that apparently it's possible to defeat him in 3 turns which is a little embarrassing for me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwmIzVBT1ic

Life after the apocalypse.

When i heard that Fallout 3 was due for release it made me more excited than a cleptomaniac in Woolworths (RIP). I'd always been a fan of the originals, in all of their frustratingly buggy glory, but the idea that maybe i could play a Fallout game on a next-gen format that wasn't plagued with dead-ends and disappearing characters filled me with unbridled joy.


The original Fallout games were absolutely amazing but very frustrating. Riddled with bugs, often things would just disappear which kind of added to the challenge of the game.

Imagine my glee then when i discovered that not only was Fallout making a welcome return but that Bethesda were developing it, the company behind one of my favourite series, The Elder Scrolls. I knew that in the hands of these game developing geniuses Fallout would not stray far from the path of greatness and my faith was not unfounded. Why? Read on you impatient swines.

If you're a big fan of Mad Max, as i am, then the world of Fallout will instantly appeal to you. Set in a post-apocalyptic landscape the Fallout franchise is infested with radioactive ghouls, renegade sentry droids and flesh eating super-mutants - it's a tough land to survive in but you soon adapt to the harsh living environment.
Scaveging caps and trading with others is the only way to attain items, at least through lawful means, as any form of currency has long since been obliterated by nuclear fallout. This means that you have to be frugal with your items as not only could that rusty old knife you have be traded for much needed Stimpaks but space in your backpack is scarce as well.


This is pretty much the exact image that i had in mind for my Fallout character. Possibly without the lunacy of Mel Gibson though.

Having played the tutorial, which is ingeniously built into your characters growing up, you take your first tentative steps outside the vault that you were raised in and take in the vast, and somewhat daunting, enormity of the world that awaits you. At this point i became slightly disorientated as i was swamped by the wealth of options that stood before me, my initial thought was to head to the warm safety of the nearest town but the wayward explorer in me dictated that i go and check out the local primary school which was now an empty husk full of looting potential and lovely adventure. That was the beginning of my addiction to Fallout and many hours later i still sat with a smile on my face as i grew more and more climatised to the nooks and crannys that i ferreted around in.

The karmaic idea works well and dictates how the denizens react to you - it may well be possible to steal an expensive item but it will effect your karma, making your character on your quaint Pipboy eventually grow devil horns and a forked tail. Saving up for the item will take considerably longer but at least you can polish your halo every once in a while and the townsfolk will treat you favourably. I opted to be a saint, much like real life.

It's hard to give an accurate portrayal of how Fallout effortlessly immerses you into its world, even minor things like the eerie 1950's music playing on gramaphones in the burnt out houses you jimmy your way into lets you know that this game is something special. That considerable time and effort have gone into it and that no stone was left unturned in terms of attention to detail. The Fallout experience is such a joy sometimes that you'll find a smile creeping across your face before you're even aware of it and even writing this now i feel like i'm cheating you slightly by telling you anything about it, it should really just be a first hand experience.

What definately has to be mentioned is the VAT's system that Fallout employs in combat. Freezing the battle entirely it is possible to target specific body parts of your combatant, centering on an arm or maybe a head if you're feeling lucky (punk). Destroying an arm could cause an enemy to drop their weapon or suffer a critical loss in attack power - destroying a head? Well that looks something like this......and is fairly fatal.


The Raider never saw my sniper bullet coming. It may be presumptuous but i think i've won this one.

Acquiring the most bizzare of perks, tinkering with your weapons using miscellaneous junk, becoming a vigilante, hunting for the elusive bobbleheads - all this and so much more await anyone willing to invest their time into Fallout 3, i found it a pleasure to play from start to finish even when, slightly frustratingly, i'd maxed my character out less than half way through the game. There are a few minor niggles such as the occasional bug or, as i mentioned, the fact that your characters level is capped at 50 which is easily attainable fairly early on in the game. However, none of those things detract from the fact that Fallout 3 is what it is - a gaming masterpiece and a piece of software that the good people of Bethesda have invested alot of time and love into. They can be proud that they've succeeded in creating something very special indeed.

My verdict: 9/10

The Online Debate.

Who actually enjoys playing online anymore? Or who did in the first place even? My jaded experiences online all consist of trash talking teenagers and players who would rather resort to cheap tactics to ensure a victory before issuing you with another mouthful of derogatory slander and then logging off. Presumably to go and do it all over again to somebody else.

Nobody likes to lose. I get that, i really do but the whole attitude of the vast majority of online gamers totally and utterly sucks. To play Halo 3, for example, against an abbhorent little turd who constantly godes you on throughout the match resorting to any methods necessary is just plain torturous. There's little fun about it and yet online gaming is being touted as the future of gaming.

Recently, as a case in point, my brother purchased Street Fighter IV. Being a huge fan of Street Fighter games he took it online and proceeded to win some excellent battles, using everything in his disposal. EX attacks, super combos, throws - he's a completely varied fighter. This being the only game he's ever been online with i was curious to see his feedback and was shocked (more disappointed) to discover that of the 30 or so people that he'd played the majority had given him negative feedback, avoided him and branded him an "unsporting" player. The hypocrisy was not wasted on either of us.


Blanka employing the enormously unfair "Beast Roll". Obviously there'll be heavy repercussions after the match.

In the year that i've not been online with my 360 the only thing i miss is not being able to play a few co-op games and now being able to access the MarketPlace, apart from that online gaming can rot as far as i'm concerned. For me gaming is a release, an enjoyable hobby that helps me unwind after a hard day - if i wanted to recieve an unfair beating and get loads of abuse i'd just go and start a pub brawl, it's cheaper and at least i get the satisfaction of fighting back.

The handheld future (imagine it's a Sunday).

Lately i seem to be playing handhelds alot - obviously by that i mean the Nintendo DS and the PSP, not a GameGear or a Lynx. That would be madness.

I think the main reason for this is that RPG's seem to have found their home on the handhelds and, not being one to worry about graphics, i've actually found that alot of the RPG's released on the smaller format are far more satisfying than anything currently released on the next gen consoles.
The last few RPG offerings on the next-gens have seriously left me wanting with the possible exception of Lost Odyssey but even that fell short of my expectations slightly - certainly titles like The Last Remnant and Infinite Undiscovery have left a bad taste in my mouth after a deliberate effort on my part to possibly see past their short comings and hope that they blossom somewhere in the middle. Unfotunately they did not.

I wait with baited breath for FFXIII because it's going to be a Square Enix release; the aforementioned titles were also by them and weren't of the high standard i would normally expect. Maybe i'm naive and want every game to rise to the heady heights of FFX but there really was little to endear me to the likes of Infinite Undiscovery which played similarly to Star Ocean but with a tacked on Final Fantasy cast and storyline - it just didn't work and ultimately was a bore to play through.


Infinite Undiscovery means well but it's just dull. I think in all the RPG's i've ever played i'v never been so dis-interested in a group of characters. Oh and the voice acting is abysmal, i thought with the latest resurrgance of original Japanese voice overs we'd be spared the squeaky American offerings but alas no.

The instant appeal of the less flashy but infintely (see what i did there) more playable handheld titles like FF: Crisis Core, Chronotrigger, Valkyrie Profile and even (sorry, especially) titles like Golden Sun on the GBA just prove that the appeal of the game is in the dynamic - the instant playability factor, the likeable characters and the effortless and addictive pull to keep playing to see what's around the next corner.


It's hard to type this through the tears that are welling up in my eyes just by thinking about how much i love Golden Sun.

It's a sad day when i get substantially more enjoyment from miniature gaming when next gen consoles have so much potential to deliver an RPG experience that would set the precedent for those to come. This is the spot that FFXIII could potentially fill and if Square Enix screw it up again this time i'm going to punch every one of them in the mouth.

A quick one about game characters

This is only a brief one because i've had a looooooong day in work and i'm going to have a longer one tomorrow. Anyway, i was wondering who everyones favourite characters are in videogames - the more obscure the better although i expect a few Lara Crofts, Samus's and Sonics.

Mine is Keith, the oddly named vampire from Shadow Hearts, Issac from Golden Sun (and Dead Space although they're a bit different), Vincent Valentine from FF7 and Auron from FF10 - oh and Issun from Okami.


Despite Okami being an incredible game, Issun and his relentless search for boobs throughout the adventure made the experience all the more enjoyable.


Vincent Valentine is arguably the best character in FFVII. Unfortunately for him the Dirge of Cerberus was then released with much emphasis on the dirge.

I'm going to go and sleep - and then play Afro Samurai and Rise of the Argonuats for abit - and then sleep some more. Actually i'm not expecting much from the two aforementioned games because they've been slated pretty much everywhere except by Paul Hickin.

I am however quite excited about my purchase last night of: Persona 3 on the PS2, Suikoden Tierkreis on the DS and Jeanne D'Arc and Brave Story on the PSP. I literally can't wait for them to be delivered. They'll make my life better.


If Tierkreis is anything like the others then i may have to bite the bullet and buy my own DS instead of stealing my girlfriends while she's trying to play Trauma Center.

If you could save one game from an inferno which would it be?

I had to ponder this question for a long time and i could only come up with a short list as just deciding on one would be beyond difficult, i may leave a few in the building until they're burnt a little bit and then run back in and save them risking my own life and sustaining third degree burns - it would be a miserable life but i could play the two games i saved to make me feel better during recovery.

Okay so the list would probably be (and this wasn't easy) :

Saved from the inferno - totally unburnt:

1)Okami (PS2) - amazing game and extremely under-rated and ignored on release proving that alot of gamers are actually fools who couldn't recognise a classic if it bit their mangy faces off. Issun swiftly rose to being my hero because of his gung-ho attitude and love of the female anatomy. I could also relate to the wolf as well and his overly aggressive attitude toward pretty much anyone. An absolute gem of a game that's deceptively deep and a treat from start to finish.


Okami has a special place in my heart as a game that was superb but sold pretty much zero units on the PS2 depsite being lauded by most gaming journalists. It's also the only game that i've played where you fight a fox.

2) FFX (PS2) - i've played all of the FF's and only really this one and FF7 stand out as gaming masterpieces for me. The amount of depth involved is mind boggling when you look at the full scale of the ability grid and realise you can fill it for every character. Probably the most emotional game i've played in terms of character interaction and story, Lulu, Auron and Tidus will always be memorable protaganists for me. I think i clocked up around 140hrs on it in the end but that was without doing everything which is a shame because i'm usually a completionist especially when it comes to RPG's.
Who could forget trying to dodge lightning bolts with Lulu? Classic.


Tragically this man believes he is Auron and his life has suffered because of it. Unemployed and now single, he loiters around train stations picking up change.
(It is a sweet effort at Cosplay though, fair play to him.)

3) FF7 (PS1) - the other FF game that blew my mind and probably the longest stint i've ever played on one game. At the time, the scope and longeveity of FF7 was unheard of and i remember travelling 40 miles to get my copy and actually being genuinely excited. Sephiroth is easily the best villain of any game and the killing of Aeris came as a shock to pretty much anyone thats played the game. When i played this game for the first time i actually couldn't believe it, it was probably the most amazing game i'd ever played in my life. Incredible even now, a true game that stands the test of time - i could quite happily play it right now.


Probably the first RPG of true epic scale it also had the most varied cast i've ever seen. From a tattooed big cat, to a stuffed toy with a small cat riding it to a surly black man with a gun for a hand. FFVII was a joy.

4) Shadow Hearts (PS2) - this has got to be up there with my favourite RPG of all time, along with FF7 and Shadow Hearts Covenant (which is arguably better than Shadow Hearts but it's a sequel). It took me ages to unlock all the different devil forms and it's the only game i've ever played which has its tongue so firmly in its cheek that it verges on a Japanese version of a Carry On film. It covers so many different aspects of mythology and magic and the world it created was instantly captivating to me - summoners, exorcists, spies - ShadowHearts pretty much covers it all. I played A New World about a year ago and although it was the weaker of the trilogy it was still a thoroughly enjoyable gaming experience.


Shadowhearts is still one of my favourite RPG's to date. It dealt with one boys struggle to get to grips with his inner demons and also dealt with the more sinister preoccupation of looking up girls skirts. Amazing.

Games that could burn abit but that i would go in to get after i'd saved the above 4:

1) Terranigma (SNES) - Along with the Zelda series and Phantasy Star this game got me into RPG's at quite a young age. If i remember correctly it was released by Enix - obviously before they joined with Square to form Square Enix. I can't remember that much about it but i remember the story was amazing and it used Mode7 really well. I actually still own it in pretty much mint condition and i'v been told that it's worth quite a bit now.


I found this on Google although i'm fairly sure it was in the game. You can guarantee that if it was then i was sat there, agape, staring at the screen in wonderment and unable to fathom what the future of gaming would hold.

2) Halo (XBox) - The best shooter i've ever played along with The Darkness but for different reasons. At the time Halo ruled my life, i played it through many times and then played it through again on co-op mode - even a few years ago the addition of a co-op mode on any game was pretty much unheard of so this was an amazing innovation that we all took advantage of. There has never been a finer weapon in any shooter than the marine pistol and Halo 2 suffered immeasurably with the omission of the pistol.
Even though it wasn't technically an online game we still managed to get it online with a bunch of other global, like minded gamers and proceeded to become embroiled in the addiction of playing Blood Gulch or Hang 'Em High - an online experience that i don't think has ever been recreated for me. For me the series seriously waned with the second one and peaked again only slightly with Halo 3.


A screenshot from the original Halo - the finest of the series. Just looking at the picture now makes me teary-eyed. If i'm not mistaken a plasma grenade has just detonated off screen and the player is shooting someone with an assault rifle. The level looks to be Blood Gulch and in the distance is a Warthog. That's right. A Warthog.

I was straining to think of a game whilst writing this list but couldn't think of it for the life of me. It was an RPG, probably on the PC, and in it you woke up not remembering anything. You were made of a collection of parts and i remember the character being gray - the world was really dark as well, almost cyber-punk in design. I seem to remember at one point in the game the character reaches inside himself and pulls out an important item but i can't remember the bloody name!! I loved it though. I think you had to find the characters body parts???
Anyone have any ideas?

A quick blog on social standing.

This is only going to be quick as i've just had a long day at work and i just want to chill. Or cry. Probably cry.

Anyway, i was in Game today purchasing dubious games on the PS3 (by that i mean dubiously good games, not sexually deviant ones) and i looked around me and found that, bar the staff, i was actually standing in a building filled with social rejects and weirdos.
I counted 4 other customers in the shop beside myself and each looked like they suffered from a serious affliction. One clearly hadn't seen light in weeks, another was a woman who had the appearance and all the mannerisms of a man and the one that was closest to me smelt so pungently of stale sweat and body odour that i almost gagged.
And then there was me. I started to panic, wondering if someone of note could walk past at any second and possibly think i was one with these people, some sick brotherhood of social outcasts out on a day trip to garner more games before scuttling back to our pits to blot out reality!!
I made my purchase and swiftly left, feeling suddenly ashamed - as if what i'd just bought was the hardest core of porn and concealing it, shame faced, beneath my coat like a grubby addict.


This is what i fear the most - i wake some nights, screaming, drenched in sweat and have to run to the mirror to check i'm still who i think i am.
(Incidentally i didn't photoshop the pic, some other whacky japester did that. And to hilarious effect i might add).

My question, albeit rhetorical, is this: is gaming really the social equivalent of blurting out, in the midst of your peers, that you enjoy stamp collecting or model railways? Surely there are enough gamers out there now who actually have a concept of reality to outweigh all the nutters that invariably flock in their droves to the warm embrace of gaming escapism?

I consider myself a gamer but not in the sense that i engage in heated debates over which Final Fantasy character could beat the other, working myself up into a frenzy until i'm foaming at the mouth - i'm also proud to say that i've never fantasized over Lara Croft.

I love games but not so much that i'd neglect to wash or even bother to make friends anymore, opting instead to live in a fantasy world like The Matrix where anything is possible and you're not just a poor, lonely soul but a misunderstood and as yet undiscovered hero.

Obviously now you can all tell me that i'm all of the things above and that i've just convinced that myself i'm not :p